"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
