I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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