As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
