you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize