u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
