i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
