Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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