the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
