I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
