Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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