: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
