before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
