i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
