Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
only you would photoshop your dick
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
