U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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