Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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