I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize