Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i now understand why vodka
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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