I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
vagina is talking i cant
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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