I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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