found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
