he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
