so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
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He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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