I think i peed on brittanys purse
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
