Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
