I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
