So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
