At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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