they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also, beer. Big fan.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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