the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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