How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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