I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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