he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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