Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He has the fingertips of a God
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