just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
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There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
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I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities