Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?