In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket