Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
