Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
