he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
