I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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