can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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