yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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