I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
