he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
