It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
