I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
