It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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