My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When are your genitals available?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize