So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
