so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
