well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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