ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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