There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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