I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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