oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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